Week 9 - Sibs | NJIB
In families with disabled children, people can sometimes refer to the 'other child - the one without the disability, as perfectly 'fine'. "There's nothing wrong with little Johnny; it's his brother, Alex with Downs Syndrome who needs attention". From the onset I knew an interesting week led before me.
My Monday morning journey took me over the picturesque black and green Yorkshire hills, passing sheep and horses grazing peacefully in the meadow to
Monica McCaffrey's house, the Chief Exec of Sibs. Sibs are a charity that gears itself towards the siblings of brothers and sisters with disabilities. It is quite hard to get your head around at first. But put simply, their aim is to cater to the people who care for their brothers and sisters. So the charity doesn't focus on the individuals with disabilities but the ones who look after and live alongside them throughout their lives.
After spending the day with Monica and her wonderful brother Martin, my 761-mile journey around the county began. I have met with various individuals (From Leeds to London) who all share a collective story; they grew up with a brother or sister with a disability. I must admit it has been a steep learning curve for me this week. I am divided from these individuals, as I myself have not grown up with a brother or sister with a disability. But also united with them knowing how important it is to have a support group around you of like-minded peers who understand what you have been through.
As I visit more and more charities, I get more attuned to what they do, how they do it and why, most importantly they were founded. Some charities are instantly apparent in their founding. Guide dogs for the blind provide intelligent creatures to aid and assist blind people. But Sibs, Sibs were founded on a search. A search and yearning to help similar people who have suffered, often silently, most of their lives. These individuals have most likely been told that they are the 'normal' ones and they 'don't need any help'.
Tackling mental health issues and many other issues that come from looking after a sibling with a disability is an enormous endeavour. The work that has been done with young Sibs (which I learned about on Tuesday In Beverley), a website which includes an agony aunt section and forum for youngsters to come together and not feel so isolated. The adult groups who meet across the country to discuss their feelings include many parents. Talking about coping with a child with learning difficulties is just as important as talking about their siblings, so there is a delicate balance. On this subject, I got to know all about the 'activity jar'; a method that Monica teaches on her training to allow the 'other' child to have me time with their parents. This can remind the family to feel a sense of all-inclusive togetherness and normality away from the pressure of dealing with their brother or sister, who without speaking out of turn can be a handful most of the time.